Parenting Is Like The Art Of Making Clay Pot.

 

 

     At the birth stage human kids are utterly helpless, lacking the ability to do even the simplest of task. The reason is not that kids are inherently stupid; it is because brains and bodies are underdeveloped at that stage. Hence kids are dependent a lot on parents and they learn a lot of things from the surroundings they are brought up. By relating this phenomena with art of making clay pot we can say that the strength and the beauty of the clay pot are partially dependent on the shape and design given by its maker. The quality of the clay can't be blamed all time. Similarly the quality of genes of a human can't be blamed all time. This is because human’s character is nourished by its parents and surrounding people like you and me. Therefore it is very important for us to mind our  deeds and action as it as long lasting impact on upcoming coming generation.

 

If we just go through the newspapers or any media, we would find that we are constantly surrounded by hate bubbles, our world breeds negativity and polarization each day, even if we play no part in it nor may be mere passive recipients. And nourishing a child under such circumstances is difficult as a task but not something impossible.

 

One often wonders whether a child is inherently good-natured or whether it is a trait that can be developed. What makes little children mean, and why are some meaner than others? Is it inherited, is it what they are watching or eating, is it their home environment?

It is certain that kindness needs to be taught as much as survival skills.

However, teaching children to care about others is not simple. Kindness also needs practice. It doesn’t come from nowhere. Kindness is more show than tell. Our children are always watching us, and most of what they learn is through observation. If you linger long enough around kids, inevitably someone ends up being teased, left out of a game, or bossed around.

It’s as if children are constantly testing out being nice, mean, or silly to see how their peers react. Early childhood, especially the pre-school years is also a time when kids begin to figure out group dynamics. When you watch them, it’s obvious that a lot of the insults, grabbing, and put-downs are part of this experimentation.

Very often, children display complete disregard for the feelings of others and unless the other person displays overt signs of hurt, don’t even notice it. On the other hand, there are parents monitoring their children’s moods all the time. Why are you sad today? Are you upset about something? This obsession with their feelings makes children think about themselves constantly, and not enough about that new child in their class who is lonely, or that one who is being bullied.

 

When we focus too much on our children’s feelings and too little on their behaviour towards others, we are also telling them that we value their feelings over anyone else’s and that is a dangerous situation.

But if we even vaguely understand where the meanness is coming from, maybe we can make sense of it in our own minds, and ultimately help kids to be kind and compassionate people.

 

Children may not be listening to what we tell them but they are always watching us — how we behave, especially towards people less privileged than us, the way we talk to family members, friends, the invisible people and the world at large. All of this shapes a child’s mind in a million different ways.

     And as I stated earlier the design and  the shape  given by the pot maker determines a clay pot's strength and quality.  Similarly we need to ensure that kindness, compassion and empathy stay with our future generation via people like me and you through our deeds and action which is been observed by kids around us.

 

 -Francis Lazar.