Mothers should openly talk & teach their sons in their early young age to respect women!
The #MeToo campaign appears to have impacted
discourses about sexual harassment and abuse globally, highlighting the
phenomenon of silence and shame of females whereas it is male perpetrators who
do the shameful acts.
In a patriarchal Pakistan, a debate about
safety of female children for once, has become headline news after the
horrific rape-murder of a seven-year-old girl. Similarly in India the
case of Nirbaya made women across the nation to raise their voice. It seems
that everywhere women and even men have started to voice their views about a
subject that is as ubiquitous as the polluted air most of us breathe in every
day but is still considered a taboo for fear of "shame" - of the
female victim/survivor, and her family. In our part of the world, the premise
of a man's honour is connected to the anatomy and behaviour of female members
of his family, and the rot starts very young, imperceptibly at first, blatantly
later. It starts at home. It starts with the mother.
The recent issue of kathua shows that raising
voices is not just enough. The focus should be eradicating such cases of rapes permanently
from the society. I admit the fact that, the more the people speak out the more likely
system is going to change but it also matters who is speaking and to whom it shall be spoken to.
It starts with the mother teaching her
daughter to be good instead of imparting the value of gender equality teaching
her son the don'ts. It is about both parents, especially fathers, incorporating
wrong ideas of masculinity couched in outward signs of physical power.
Whether your son studies at
a private or a state-run school, whether he is a mathematical genius or a
football star or both, whether he is being raised like a prince or is a daily
wage-earner, the onus of the formation of his early personality is on the
mother, and in the absence of his mother, his primary caregiver. Fathers,
schooling, friends, external factors and experiences all play a role, but how a
man treats a woman starts with his mother. Even in an abusive environment a
mother's love and guidance can help a child learn how to overcome the odds.
This is what I believe, teach your son to be a good human being who should be
kind to all around him - siblings, cousins, friends, class and school mates,
neighbours, people working in the house, in school, shops, restaurants, the
underprivileged, and of course animals - and as a man he will not grope,
harass, exhibit sexism and misogyny, disrespect women, or inflict violence of
any kind on a child or an adult.
Women's rights are human
rights, and it all starts with the first woman: the mother. Let's learn to
acknowledge one another beyond the labels, beyond the judgments.
Sometimes great success can
be achieved by taking small steps of actions.
-Francis
Lazar.
